I slapped another one down

I want to end this cycle that has been tormenting me all of my life. Fear of rejection causes me to leave a man who deeply cares about me on the outside chance that he may decide to leave me. I can't bear the pain of him leaving - so I hurt him and then bear even more pain because its loaded with guilt.

I've done it again. I really want to stop.

I lie to make men love me. I tell them what they want to hear. I treat them like they are the only one. I hate myself for doing this.

I am going to share here about all the shit...the horror of my past...the hurt of my present.

It's one step closer to being well. I want to love right at least one time before I die.

The whole truth about me

A predator.
An addict.
A lover.
A lost soul.
A listening ear.
A liar.
A beautiful woman.
An aching heart.
A kind friend.
A wise counselor.
A foolish female.
A warrior that has lost many battles.