I want to end this cycle that has been tormenting me all of my life. Fear of rejection causes me to leave a man who deeply cares about me on the outside chance that he may decide to leave me. I can't bear the pain of him leaving - so I hurt him and then bear even more pain because its loaded with guilt.
I've done it again. I really want to stop.
I lie to make men love me. I tell them what they want to hear. I treat them like they are the only one. I hate myself for doing this.
I am going to share here about all the shit...the horror of my past...the hurt of my present.
It's one step closer to being well. I want to love right at least one time before I die.
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